a source of pain

Overcome with guilt, she doesn't realize how disconnected i feel, and how much it hurts when she toys with it. But it isn't just over the dog. That's just the guilty part. The frustrated part is the disconnect from the folks. Both for different but extremely related reasons. Maybe this weekend I can lock myself in my room (thank goodness for wireless; hopefully it'll work from the other side of the house) and get that presentation done. Maybe I'll actually do something fun this weekend, and see some friends I haven't seen in forever. Maybe I'll feel like I can let go a little, and get into some trouble. That would be unique. For now, I can't wait for 1:30. Explaining why I feel more connected to 6 totally disconnected life forms is sort of like explaining radio frequencies and attachment styles; it should be left up to the experts. Here's a stab at it. They don't know it, but they need me. At least a little. There is no need for me elsewhere like there is in that domain. That and..once my shift is over, I can simply pass them off, behaviors, noises and all, to the next shift's hands. It's like the one-night-stand of therapeutic relationships. And..I'm pretty damn good at it. I've become attached, as they are a new part of my identity, and somehow, we're broadcasting on the same frequency.