Random Thoughts (con't)

IIIIII fooooound the cuuuuure to groooowing ooldeerrrrrr
Not really. That's a line from a Fall Out Boy song. Before I continue tho I'd like to just inform everyone (as if there were a lot of you) that Nate just called himself a nerd and used the word "spiffy" in the same conversation. Spiffy. ::giggle::.
Random Point #3: I was falling asleep on the lawnmower today. I was helping with the leaves and I was in third gear and I just felt so dozy...zzzz...anyway. It was loud and my dad was laughing at me and then when I was finished he was telling me about how I always fall asleep on things that can be pretty loud sometimes. Like, when he used to mow the lawn with me in his lap (bc it's fun but obviously sleep-inducing) and the boat where I fall asleep almost instantaneously on departure from the dock. There's something about a hummm. It's probably linked to the fact that I can't fall asleep when it's too quiet. I hear everything and, similar to the way my roommate thinks, I imagine things. It isn't a good thing. It was touching to hear my dad talk about me in such an affectionate way. I couldn't help but awkwardly laugh it off as history.
Random Point #4: I realized that I can group certain things I'm afraid of. I was on a bike today; first time in at least...7 years? Long time. I always hated riding a bike because I was always afraid of falling off of it. That I knew for a fact. But I never thought to link it to anxiety when I'm on a ladder, a diving board, skates of any kind, bikes, boards, balance beams, and even falling asleep on my back. When you fall asleep on your back and your head isn't buried in a pillow, it tilts to one side as you doze off. When my head tilts, my whole body wakes up bc I feel like I'm falling. The connection between all of these things? I'm afraid of losing my balance. Don't get me wrong, I still dive off the diving board and hop up on the ladder to put the star on the top of the tree but...sometimes I'd rather not do those things. Like ride a bike. I've avoided riding a bike for about 7 years now. It's important to face your fears. Settling for the status quo isn't always the best thing for ya. Your fears will always resurface and you'll just have to deal with them.
That's why it was so liberating doing a simple thing like riding a bike. I went up and down the street several times before coming in and no matter how paranoid I was of losing my balance, I just couldn't stop. You become almost obsessed with experiencing something you were once afraid of. It's a good feeling.
So that's it for the random thoughts thing. A leaf landed on me last week in a funny sort of way and there's the making of a poem in my head for that leaf.
Tha's about it. If I think up anything else, I'll be sure to go ahead and share.

P.S. Does anyone know how much Stingray bikes are going for these days? ;O)