what does it mean to be slavic?

Bear with me because this might be one of those blog posts where your words can be mis-read. So, when someone comes up with delusions, they could be manifesting from anything. Who knows what this person endured to have such illogical tangential mostly incomprehensible utterances come from her mouth. I can only imagine. Anyway, she thinks i'm Slavic. And someone hit her head. It's sad. She's getting new teeth (dentures) and she's worried about swallowing her new teeth. She was holding her fingers apart to measure her jaw to compare it to her neck to see if her teeth would be small enough to be swallowed. I reminded her that her throat was not actually as wide as her neck and that it wouldn't happen.
Day 1 of my gym plans was successful. The only thing left is a) getting home without falling asleep and b) remembering to remove the wet towel and gym clothes from my car. The natural high lasted quite a while until I started getting serious hunger pangs. And a coughing fit. And i'm still really congested but. What else can I do.
I really hope they don't need me tomorrow. I need to wrap the bf's bday present, get dinner ideas for what i want to cook on Thursday, and STRAIGHTEN THAT HOUSE it's a mess. I also need some space. From this house. I lost my momentum with what I was going to discuss. I'm not sure where Donette is today. Lorris probably killed her. Lorris is not afraid of stink bugs' stink.
Jon at work got me a can of arizona, the 1/2 and 1/2 arnold palmer style. For "fixing" his computer. Or "helping" him with it. I'm not sure what word he used but what happened was, he thought on Friday he logged off and what he did was shut down so he kept hitting enter and clicking the mouse and the screen wouldn't turn on. So i looked at the little button that's supposed to have the power symbol lit up green and sure enough it was black. So he got me a can of arizona. I hope one day to take embarrassing situations in stride the way Jon does. The other theme here is the isolating of fathering tendencies (or receiving interactions as fatherly on my part) that occurs at work. It happens at the group home and at ph. Pts and staff alike. Jon is one such example. On the other hand we have the damning with no praise approach of Vince. Former cop or something like that. His gentle approach is a lot like an owner shoving a dog's face in the pile of feces he left on the carpet. Yup, that pretty much sums it up. It has a lot to do with how one views the situation, or any situation for that matter. Jon looks at the hilarity in a situation. I haven't seen him genuinely insulted yet and I'm not sure I ever will. Vince on the other hand takes everything as a slight. Against him, naturally. Perhaps it's a guilty conscience. Jon is a do-gooder. The one thing a fellow staff member might hold against him is making them look bad or forgotten in the shadow of his do-good-ing-ness. I like Jon, can you tell? Funny, the John at the other job is the father figure. He's short and Italian and balding and verbally compassionate. He has daughters. He wears boat shoes just as long as there isn't snow on the ground. It's the little nostalgic aspects of these people that I appreciate. And I find myself appreciating the CRAP out of these details. Looking for them. Soaking them in like rain on the desert plains of my familial encounters.
These are some of the things I want. For myself and for the bf too. I want him involved. I want dinner at ob at least every other Wednesday. Dinner/lunch at Grammy's every other Sunday. Regular evening dinners with the bf. We do love our food like lil piggies. I worry for our quality of life. We aren't impoverished but...since the lower rungs of the infamous hierarchy of needs are being filled in various ways why not shoot for self-actualization? If I was impoverished, and the basic needs on the lower rungs were not being met, I'd look at those celebrities/rich/famous people and think to myself, "they better be livin it up enough for the both of us, boy. what reason do they have not to??". So, in the spirit of that philosophy, i do want the best for myself. The best that I can manage, that is. I don't mean the best cuts of steak, or the finest China flatware, i mean the healthiest lifestyle I can manage within my means.
So there...food for thought. Hope you were hungry...

STINK bug.

looking around the office i couldn't spot it right away but i just did. it's almost blocked by the glare of the energy saver bulb up there, in its blinding energy saving-ness. i noticed it first when i went to use the bathroom. darn thing was sitting on the side of the doorway, just hangin out. by the time i was done peeing and washing my hands i forgot it was there and knocked it off. i was going to write about how it was dive bombing me while i sat here but that's taking it much too personally. i know that in reality it was doing that bug bounce fly bounce land bounce thing around the lights. it's what they do. they're bugs. it's crawling a bit now. toward the light. i'm drinking mountain dew and reading a fitness magazine.com article on how to make over my motivation. it's called not signing up for more group home shifts than what's really feasible. i'm fearful of resignation because i can't think of a better word for it. i was dropped from supportive and now i never see april. i miss her. she always made me feel better and listening to her talk about herself was very inspiring. i should tell her that...hold on.
***
the irony? gmail will not let me send or save the email i sent to her. does gmail want me to call her and tell her? how come gmail couldn't tell me that it wants me to be more personable BEFORE i typed the whole thing? i'm just being lazy. i realize this. perhaps i should text her...hold on.
***
'message sent'. thank you verizon. the stink bug has traveled down the track of the track lighting fixture to two lights down which is further away from the window but on the next light that is on. i think i should assume the stink bug is a female stink bug and i'd like to name her donette. there was a pt at phbh with that name and she was one tough cookie. i hope she's well. i can't see donette (the stink bug) anymore. oh wait there she is. crawling around the fixture. i wonder what she's looking for. bugs take such risks. i'm pretty sure they're aware of their risks and yet they take them anyway. in the spirit of thinking like a bug and moving forward at the risk of loss or change, i plan on tendering a tender letter of resignation two weeks into january, in the hopes of dropping my mon/fri evening commitment as RC for the sub status instead for february and onward. if someone is going to step on me about it (which i doubt but one never knows) then i'll make my little stink and move on.
i keep telling myself that if i wasn't at work right now i'd be changed in my gym clothes and at the gym that's across from work. i need to magically have the energy really early in the morning to drive up to the n. b. wow and bust out some sweat droplets. is it feasible? leave the house at 6 to be at the gym for 7-8? i'd have to sleep in my gym clothes and bring stuff to shower...it's a lot of prep but i suppose it can be done? maybe get up out of bed at 530 to prep breakfast, lunch and dinner? what about only on tuesdays, thursdays, saturdays and sundays? that would mean only two days with a schedule that's particularly nutty...and it would also mean two of those days would catch days when i'm going home after, and not to the gym (at least for the month of january). the 6th is the bf's bday, and the 11th is our anniversary. perhaps this plan just might work...i feel like the grinch or something. i almost busted out a grinchy grin. out comes the agenda book!
thoughts? anyone? anyone? bueler?