"Meat Loaf Parmesan". Meatloaf is one word. Don't argue.

At one point this evening, I was so befuddled by a certain gentleman that I pulled up to a gas pump with my gas cap on the opposite side of my jeep (twice). I was so engulfed by cloud nine that I missed most of the aisles at Shoprite today because I wasn't the one shopping. In a daze, I drifted down Princeton Ave, to 518, to 27, to 522, to 535 almost completely unawares. And now all I have are two burning eye sockets, a journal entry waiting to be written and backed up so they don't disappear, and a bed that awaits my weight. I'm sure it isn't his fault.

boat...fun

There are too many banana slices in my fruit salad. But I don't mind so much. I mind the burnt spots on my shins, arms, shoulders, neck, and belly. I mind the feeling that I'm pestering people by seeing if they are available to hang out. I mind the fear that an enjoyable summer is over there and not right here and easily accessible. I think I need a change. Some kind of change. Like seeing Frank on a day that isn't Friday or Saturday. Being demanding of something obvious that never occurred to me before. Breaking a few rules. THAT would be unique. I think of interesting things to say, I swear. it just comes out in rambles, that's all.

it's failure by design. me. i am. this blog is too.

I'm typing my journal entry for my internship and I just wanted to say hi. It would be great if any of my friends who also read this blog want to get together sometime. Reply back with schedules and I'll try to arrange something fun-ish. I'm feeling pretty pathetic these days and I think visiting with my buddies would cure me. At least temporarily. They always end up leaving at like 2 in the morning so by that time I'll be too tired to care about my problems. Sweet. Maybe we could take your vehicle when we go out and I'll just chip in for gas. Driving to my internship has killed me so far and so yea. I'd really rather just get directions and do the arranging and phone calling than drive. Not that I don't like driving. I love to drive actually. Especially when I'm not paying for gas. Scratch that previous statement. I'm willing to drive if people pitch in for gas. I would really like to beach it. Even at night. Wear a sweatshirt if you're cold. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to check this code to see if we've won this turkey hill contest. The prizes include a hot air balloon ride, a handmade quilt, rocking chairs made in Lancaster County, or my weight in farmer's cheese. This is most likely due to a group of farmers living too far away from civilization to have garage sales like normal people.

'welcome to the real world ::sarcastic chuckle::'

This is the real world, lady. This is the real world of a college student. I've got some advice for you little buddy. Before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man. If I'm the man and he's the man than you're the man as well so you can...It irks me. I have a headache. I'm angry. I'm tired. My feet don't want to walk anymore. I don't even have a ravenous appetite. Daydreams of aggressive confrontations are what keep me conscious on some extremely low-functioning level. I have to go help my mom eat her sandwich. I know where I get my digestive wimpiness from.

Happy May 2nd, you annoying optimistic people.

So I sold some books back and got $76.75 for them (sorry Dave, you resol). The last time I went they gave me this razor and I read what the box says and it sounds like the marketing people at Schick really overdid it. Apparently they thought up too many catchy mantras and so the box has four of them.
#1: Presenting a free gift for the entire student body. (Well, actually just female student bodies.) #2: Live like a party animal. Just don't have legs like one.
#3: Who doesn't want a 4.0? and
#4: (i forgot about this one) After blowing all that money on books, you deserve something free. It's actually nicely designed (the razor, not the box) but it's pink. Which is lame-o.
It comes with an owner's manual. "A bumper to bumper guide to your new high performance razor." I told you they had a million of them. You should read the inside of this thing. It's ridiculous. There are these catchy sayings on each page. What is so great about this razor? IMPORTANT NOTE:
"Keep manual near razor at all times--but not actually in the shower because it will get soggy."
"Please review this guide. If you fail to, nothing bad will happen, but you won't learn what the handle is made of and what bathtub tinsel is all about."
There is a table of contents. There is a labeled diagram complete with the following items:
1. Top conditioning strip; 2. Bottom conditioning strip; 3. Four blades; 4. Wire blade guards; 5. Compact oval head; 6. Pivoting head; 7. Cartridge release button; 8. Durable metal handle; 9. No-slip rubber grip; 10. Special grip pattern; 11. Multiple rest points; 12. Brand medallion; 13. Cool reflection; 14. Ergonomic base; 15. Metal bolt thing.
ridiculous.
They then have a diagram of the blade cartridge features. Then the handle features. There are the razor statistics showing the weight, height of shaven hair, U.S. patent numbers, official name, blade capacity, etc. Caring for your Quattro Razor. How to get a high-performance shave. Shaving by major. Then there's the Quattro Lingo including the following terms: "Bathtub tinsel", "Chastity Pelt", "Hairoic Maneuver", "Kneed to Know Shave", "Penguin-style", "Poky Little Puppy", "Psycho", "Quattrosexual", "Shower Foul", and "Tame the Cave Lady". Then there's troubleshooting. Then there's the service schedule of how often you change the cartridges. And then you can apparently join an owners' club. Last but not least, there is the coupon off of cartridges because the box only comes with the cartridge that is on the razor.
Did you know that Eveready Battery Company, Inc. ownes the trademarks of Schick and Quattro?
fascinating.
I want to know if they go through all this trouble when they hand out free razors to guys.

P.S. I opened the wrong end of the box. At the other end is one of those rip off cardboard thingies that open boxes and it says "Open and drop your class in nicks and cuts." They must've hired someone with a 4.0 in marketing slogans and just couldn't decide which slogans they liked best.